Skip to content

Do you "have to" or "want to"?

Do believe you would be happier if you would accomplish your goal? 

Are you focused more on what is missing in your life rather than what you already have?

Many of us conditioned to search for what is missing in our lives. We are comparing what we have, with what others have or what we could have instead. 

This goes back to our early days as humans. We were on a survival mindset and focusing on what was missing, like shelter, food, or some other things. We were associating those we do not have as a threat to our survival. Having that mindset was helping us stay alive at that time. Coming back to our time now, even though there is no real threat, we are living with these beliefs in our subconscious mind. We compare our physical features, financial incomes, successes in our lives with others, and constantly look for a gap to close. If we are not matching other people’s level in any aspect of life, we consider that as a threat. Thinking that we are not beautiful enough, not having more money in our bank account, not having a better career track than others, and consequently in our subconscious mind, we believe that we are in danger. But that is not true and we know that.

The reflection of that subconscious belief is quite interesting. When you have the thought that “you will not be complete if you do not get what is missing in your life” this will create a feeling of insecurity. This is a negative feeling but it has nothing to do with what you have or not. You are feeling that feeling only because of your thoughts. 

How do we know that? 

Even when you will achieve your goals, close the gap, and get what is missing in your life, you are going to have the same feeling of insecurity. It is because your thoughts are still in their original form and say you are still not complete, you still need to achieve this or that. The truth is you have everything you need to feel complete but only because of your thoughts you are creating the feeling of insecurity. 

Gratitude is a feeling that gives us a perspective to create happiness regardless of what we believe is missing in our life. When you feel gratitude, your thought becomes “I am grateful with what I have” and that does not mean that you do not set goals to achieve more in your life. 

Gratitude makes you set goals and achieve them from a positive mindset. You know that you can feel gratitude regardless of your circumstances and you are totally ok and complete without the things that you thought you would need. Therefore when you are setting a goal for yourself with gratitude, you say “I want to achieve my goal” instead of “I have to achieve my goal”. 

How about your goals, your challenging targets? 

Do you have to achieve them or you want to?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe they will benefit from.

Have a great day!

Ferruh Tumer


Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …