Using your stress for your purpose

Using your stress for your purpose

World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. The symptoms are listed as feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy.

The highlight of this definition is the stress that has not been successfully managed. Managing stress is a skill that can be learned. Some of you are lucky enough to work for a company that has already taken effective measures to avoid their employees reaching the point of burnout. However, some of you need to do it by yourself. Either way, it requires your motivation to recognize and solves this issue. 

Our feelings at work are mainly triggered by external factors and stress is nothing different. When a person at work, your boss, colleague, or a team member behaves in a way that you do not expect them to behave, you will feel stressed. The same applies to your work. When you have an expectation from your work but you are not satisfied with what it offers, you feel stressed. When you are loaded with too much work and you believe you cannot handle that load, you are stressed. 

Your stress is also following you out of the work environment. Even if you are on holiday or finished your workday, your brain will still be busy thinking about the work. Maybe its intensity reduces but your stress will follow you everywhere you go.

Managing your work stress has two folds, managing your mind and managing your body to support your mind. Managing your mind is going to require the larger part of the work because stress is a feeling and it starts in your brain. In this article, I will talk about mind management.

Feelings are vibrations in your body created by your own thoughts. Managing your mind is choosing your thoughts intentionally to create the feeling you want. Instead of using your habitual thought pattern, you choose a thought that serves your purpose. When you are at work and your stress is triggered by an external factor – let’s say you are given an additional assignment to your current workload at work – your habitual pattern may suggest thoughts like, “I already have too much to do”, “I am not able to finish all this work” or “I am not sure if I can handle this”. These thoughts will create stress. It will cause reduced concentration, creativity, and joy which will affect your overall productivity.

When you choose to manage your mind, you decide to choose how you want to feel and choose your thought intentionally to create that feeling. In the same circumstance where you are given an additional assignment, you can choose to feel differently by managing your mind. However, the first step is to focus on your greater purpose. Connect with your purpose and think about how this additional assignment may help your purpose. Maybe you need money to support your dreams and your life, maybe you want to be the CEO of that company, maybe you are not sure about your purpose and your current job gives you the freedom to find out your purpose. 

When you can make these connections between your purpose and your current situation, you are ready to think intentionally and create the feeling you want. If you want to feel aware, you can think “My current job is serving my purpose”. If you want to feel confident, you can think “I am ready to work hard to realize my purpose”. To feel accepted, you can think “Everything is happening as it is supposed to happen”. By feeling aware, confident, and acceptance you will for sure create more for yourself compared to when feeling stressed. 

Mind management is not surrendering your current reality, it is about giving a new meaning to your reality which will help you create the life you want. 

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

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Are you spending your time or investing in it?

Are you spending your time or investing in it?

It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important…the important are never urgent.”

For many of us desk-workers, receiving 100 emails a day is pretty much standard. Add to that 20 calls, quite a few texts; and then some more calls and texts to follow up on the email sent earlier in the day. I should admit that I feel quite satisfied when I “clean” my inbox, having answered all the calls and emails, responded to all the messages. Do you? Do you feel like you have had a very productive day after such cleaning?

If you took a moment to make a rough calculation about how much of your time you allocate to task management, and how much of it to new projects, big goals, and breakthroughs; what would be the outcome of your calculation? 50/50? 60/40? 90/10? 100/0?

The moment I left my corporate job and started as an independent coach, I became the CEO of my own business…as well as the administrator, the accountant, the content producer, the author, the salesperson, the marketer, the editor. I had no idea how much of my time and energy would get spent on the daily management of my business. While it still gave me immense pride to be a hands-on business owner, the time I spent on tasks was not in line with my business purpose – to help others shift their focus to re-ignite their lives through my coaching. Taking inspiration from President Eisenhower, I wrote down all my goals, as well as all my tasks, and did an Urgent vs Important categorization, prioritized my work, and intentionally dedicated 70 percent of the last month to help others shift their focus to re-ignite their lives through my coaching. The result? 25% increase in my coaching sessions in just one month and 30 articles written in 30 days.

And you? Do you feel like identifying your Urgent and Important?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

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Are you the ugly duckling?

Are you the ugly duckling?

Do you sometimes question your abilities? 

Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for your job?

Some of you struggling to fit in their life story at your job. They have been working for that job for already long years but although they are doing a great job, they feel like their qualities are not recognized enough and they feel like they are intentionally excluded from the tribe. Some of you start to question their abilities, performance, and behavior. Some of you make it mean there is something wrong with them.

Needless to say, these circumstances are not helping those people to build confidence and feel happy at work. However successful and great achiever they are, they will lose their motivation along the way and step by step their productivity at work will reduce which may also affect their private life. 

Do you remember The Ugly Duckling tale by Hans Christian Andersen?

It is a tale of a little bird perceived as the mother duck hatches her eggs. The little bird is called by other birds and animals an ugly creature. He suffers from verbal and physical abuse from them. He leaves there and finds himself a place to live with wild ducks and geese where he again treated badly. He finds a home with an old woman but teased by her cat. He wanders from one place to another until one day he decided to throw himself at a flock of swans and get killed by those beautiful birds than to live a life of ugliness. He is shocked by the swans accepting him and only realizes looking at his reflection in the water that he was in fact not an ugly duckling, but a swan all his life. 

Are you an ugly duckling?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

Let yourself be you

Let yourself be you

How does it feel to be you?

Do you constantly compare yourself with other people?

Comparing themselves with other people and focusing on their “shortcomings” is something that some people have been doing constantly. Especially in a world that we are living now, where people are sharing their lifestyles through social media, this comparison becomes an important issue. Paying too much attention to their shortcomings compared to others, people make it mean that there is something wrong with them. This then may lead to detaching from their authentic selves. 

The shortcomings are mainly identified in an emotional dimension as well as in a materialistic one. Some people feel bad because they do not get enough love and attention, some people feel bad because they do not have enough money compared to others.

One of our trait as a human being is to constantly seek for things that are not going well in our lives. Simply our brain is trying to protect us. Therefore by comparing ourselves with other people and find what we are missing compared to them is a quite common way that our brain does its work perfectly. Its intention is great, it will keep us alive but not always in a way that we wanted.

When you focus on the extra weight that you have, the fewer number of followers, lower-income, cheaper car, a lower position at a company compared to others and make it mean something bad about you, is not going to create negative emotions. Feeling negative about yourself is not a constructive way to grow in life and fulfill your potential.

The great mind shift happens when you decide to take control of your brain by engaging with your conscious thinking. Consciously choosing your thoughts is looking at your circumstances and deciding how to interpret them so that they serve your purpose. You can still have extra weight, fewer number followers on social media, lower-income, cheaper car, a lower position at a company, compared to others but you can be constructive at the same time by choosing to be a conscious thinker.

If you want to lose weight, earn more money, or get promoted you need to feel confident. The way you create this confidence is by making peace with who you are and what you have got, not by focusing on what you do not have. By doing this you are going to resonate with your authentic self which is the crucial step towards growth. It will be easier for you to lose weight if you are already happy with your body now, it will be easier to make more money if you can already be happy with the money you earn, easier to get the promotion if you already motivated with your current position. 

In which ways you are not in line with your current self?

Exercise the idea of accepting yourself as who you are. You will be amazed by how much confidence you are going to create by letting yourself be you.

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

Unintentional identity

Unintentional identity

We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of your personality is shaped by the genes you inherit. Your encounters in life shape the other half.

In my previous blog post, “Getting out of a Negative Cycle”, I wrote about thoughts shaping beliefs, beliefs shaping character, character-shaping life. The step before forming your thoughts is having an idea. 

When you are the object of your thought, it means that you had formed an idea about yourself before it became a thought. 

Here’s a quick exercise for you to understand how you came to be:

Go as far back as you can remember, dig deep into your memories and try to recall the seemingly unimportant conversations and behaviors you witnessed, especially with parents and siblings or your school teacher. Do you remember being declared a problem child at school or the responsible big brother at home? Have you ever been told that you were the pretty one and your sibling was the smart one? Take a moment to remember.

Now let’s funnel your memories down to single out the conversations and behaviors that were repeated.

Separate the one-timers from the repeated messages.

The repeated messages you received from the environment in the form of words, behaviors, verbal cues, and body language have made you form an idea of yourself and impacted your brain circuitry to eventually have you form a thought about yourself.

The human brain is a marvel in its own right and one of the role models in operational excellence. Do you know how our brains excel at efficiency? They categorize and label – the pretty one, the problem one, the smart one. Then you get used to the label and tend to act in line with the characteristics of the label because it feels familiar.

Think now about how many of the patterns you think you have in life are directly linked to the thoughts and beliefs based on the categorization and the labeling I explained above.

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

Getting out of a negative cycle

Getting out of a negative cycle

Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen?

Do you believe that nothing is working in your favor?

We do not always get the results we want in life. Some of you apply to your dream job and get a rejection, some of you get your passport stolen while on vacation, some are laid off, have a car accident, are not given a promotion at work, not get the desired respect from your boss, get a low-performance rate at work, fail to make a profit in their business, are betrayed by their partner. Life is full of surprises. Depending on which situation you are in, you may experience negative emotions. 

People process these situations differently because everybody has a different perspective on what is happening in their lives. 

Some people, when they experience a negative situation, may make it mean that they are the negativity magnet, all bad things happen to them, there is something wrong with them, they are not lucky. The dangerous thing about believing in these negative thoughts is that their brain tricks them into searching for similar events in the past that will reinforce this belief that they have just formed. Having this reinforced belief will then begin to affect their future. First of all, they will find it very difficult to set a goal because they believe something wrong is going to happen and they won’t be able to achieve it. Even if they can set a goal, when it comes to taking action to achieve it, they act hesitantly without confidence so their actions don’t turn out to be effective. They focus on things that will go wrong instead of focusing on how they can make it work. Therefore, it is highly likely that they will not be achieving their goals, which, in the end, will be another proof for their initial belief that they are the negativity magnet, all bad things happen to them, there is something wrong with them, they are not lucky. 

Do you realize what just happened here?

The initial negative belief turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy (more on Self Fulfilling Prophecies in my next blog post). The unfavorable results have actually been created by the people themselves by just focusing on what can go wrong and subconsciously wanting those things to go wrong.

Creating awareness is a big step to get out of this negative cycle. Awareness is helping people to make realistic judgments on what is happening around them. They can disconnect the link between those negative situations and their beliefs. When something negative will happen to them they will be able to see it in isolation and approach it as a one of situation. By doing that, they can acknowledge the situation as it is and they can say, “I am laid off by the company but this is not the end of the world” or “I cannot make a profit in my business but I will understand the reason” instead of “there is something wrong with me” or “all bad things happen to me”. Awareness is observing the situation from a third person’s perspective. That will give the freedom to see things differently. 

The other great thing to know is that our thoughts are creating the results in our lives. When you think constructive thoughts, you will move into a creative state of mind, you will look for solutions to your problems. Even when there is another negative situation, you do not let it to create a negative cycle, you will figure out how to convert it to something positive. When you are thinking constructive thoughts, your focus will be on growth. In order to do that, you need to be very intentional about what you are thinking. 

Evaluate your current results in life, do you see yourself in a negative cycle?

If so, be aware of the cycle first and move onto intentional thinking. 

Choose your thoughts carefully, they will create your results.

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

You are what you believe

You are what you believe

How have you created your current self?

Do you believe you can create a new version of yourself?

Our brain creates 60.000 thoughts a day. This means an adult in their midlife has been exposed to more or less a billion thoughts since they were born. 

People have been inheriting many thoughts from their parents, from people they are spending their time with, from books, from school. They also generate many thoughts by themselves throughout their lives. Under this immense exposure, some thoughts unintentionally get selected to be repeated over and over again. As a consequence of this repetition, beliefs are created and beliefs are the strongest forms of thoughts. Our beliefs create our identity, attitude, and behavior. 

We tend not to question our beliefs as they are so strong and have already become part of our identity. Questioning beliefs is questioning identity. We do not like that. 

Religious beliefs are quite a good example of that. People’s thoughts about their religion are so strong that they have become their beliefs over time. That is the reason why many people do not even consider changing their religion or even questioning any of their religious beliefs.

This same story goes for their identity. People have so many beliefs about themselves. They believe they can do certain things in life but they also believe they cannot to some others. Some believe they can be rich, some believe they cannot, some believe they can learn a new language, some believe they can be a doctor or a lawyer, some believe they are the victim.

The thing is, if you do not believe that you can be rich, you cannot imagine yourself being rich. You do not even consider being as rich as an option. 

One day though, a magical day, they ask themselves “Is this my destiny, or can I change my beliefs and write my new story in life, my new version?”. This moment is so powerful because they are realizing that they can open themselves to different possibilities. This is the first step to creating your new version of life. Once this question is asked, you are becoming curious and asking so many more questions to let you figure out how can you make that change. 

The big step after that is the thought work, which is cleaning up your brain from the thoughts that are not serving you and replacing them with the ones that will enable your new version. Thought work takes courage to face your beliefs and question them and saying goodbye to some of them. This part requires intentional effort and dedication. Considering how long it took to create your old belief, you can imagine it is going to take committed exercises to overwrite them. This does not mean you need to spend as many years to replace your old belief with the new one but it will require daily practice for some period of time. When you think about the prize that you will get at the end, which is creating the life that you want, the effort you will put in is worth all the effort.

Are you willing to take this exciting journey of creating your new version?

If you are ready to do a thought cleanse and would like to get my help, click on this link to book your free 30-minute introductory coaching session with me.

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

To-do or not-to-do​ list?

To-do or not-to-do list?

Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks? 

Are you feeling anxious or nervous long before actually working your way through your to-do list?

As you are moving on with your career, growing your business, growing your personal life, having a family and kids, you are having more responsibilities in life and you need to get more things done. In order to follow up on all the things to be done, you probably prefer to have a to-do list because they are so convenient.

Whether they are written down in a notebook or memorized, to-do lists can turn into the cause of emotional pressure for many people. They tend to see their list as a burden and some of their thoughts around it can be:

“There are so many things that I need to do”

“I am not able to do all those things”

“This is never-ending, when will I take a break?”.

Eventually, because of their thoughts about them, the lists make them feel overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious. One of the features of to-do lists is that as people complete tasks on those lists, there is always a new task getting on it. Therefore, they will always have things to do and the list will keep bothering them. 

It is interesting to see that the negative emotions are linked to the actual existence of the list rather than the content of the list. Even when the tasks on the list are simple and easily doable in people’s capacities, the list as a whole becomes a disturbance for them because it keeps their mind busy all the time reminding constantly that there are many things they need to do.

I am advising two ways to get over those negative feelings attached to your to-do list.

Changing your perspective about your to-do list is the first one. Ask yourself this question;

How can I interpret this to-do list differently? 

My personal answer to this question is to-do list is evidence of my growth. I would like to hear your answer. 

My second advice is about taking action. Once you make a to-do list, allocate a certain time for all tasks, and transfer the tasks to your calendar. Your to-do list will be transformed into a scheduled plan and the physical existence of it will disappear. And you repeat this as you get new to-do lists with new tasks. This will take all the burden of thinking all the time that you have so much to do. 

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.  

Have a great day!   

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring?

What is in between being frustrated and not caring?

On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different people. These encounters trigger many thoughts in our minds. Those thoughts eventually define our emotional state. We are happy and we are filled with energy when we are in positive emotional states. When we are in a negative emotional state, we look for an easy way out of it because it is not pleasant to feel that way. 

What I am observing with my clients and also based on my own past experiences, we are not so good at handling those moments of negativity. We are either intensifying that negativity by thinking more thoughts that create more negative emotions or we try to ignore the feeling by acting as if we don’t care about the situation. Let’s say you have an argument with your boss and you are frustrated. You either create more frustration by something like thinking about your past arguments with them or you try to avoid that frustration by saying “I do not care”.

However, neither of them is helping you with your purpose. Creating more frustration will cause you to act in a way that you may regret. On the other hand, avoiding your negative feelings will not help you to fulfill your potential. You may think that more are the only options for you but that is not true. There are endless possibilities in between that we are not used to consider. 

Imagine a scale of emotions where frustration on one end and avoiding/ignoring on the other. There are feelings in between those extremes and they are all available to us to feel in difficult situations. You can feel curious, aware, rational, constructive, confident, balanced, or any similar feeling during or after a challenging argument.

When you feel curious, you ask questions, try to understand, and be open-minded. When you feel aware, you can be an objective observer and see what is happening. When you feel constructive, you look for solutions to move forward. This is how you manage your mind when things are not going well.

Managing your mind and living your life intentionally is not about ignoring negative emotions but learning how to manage them for your own purpose.

Look at your previous week at work, did you feel any frustration?

What were the consequences of frustration?

Considering my proposal, can you see any other way you could choose to feel about that situation instead of getting frustrated?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it. 

Have a great day!  

Ferruh Tumer

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Why you should let other people be who they are?
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How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

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Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …

Are boring tasks turning you off?

Are boring tasks turning you off?

How important are your goals?

Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your goals?

Whether they are the goals at work or for your own business, or personal goals like career, relationships, or money, in order to realize your goals you need to take series of actions with the right strategy. When you assign yourself to achieve a goal you are also assigning for some challenges and difficulties along the way. That is the nature of a goal, it is supposed to be that way, which is helping us to grow and discover new possibilities in life.

One of the challenges that we are facing while we are moving towards achieving our goal is to keep taking action based on our plan. When we make a plan, we are deciding ahead of time on which tasks we are going to work and when they have to be complete. However, what we do not know is whether we are going to be motivated to do that task at the time when we need to do it.

The challenge arises when the time comes to work on that task and we may not feel like doing it. In that situation, our choices would be a) completing the task nonetheless, b) postponing or not doing the task. This is a defining moment for learning how to manage our minds. Right at that moment, our primitive brain will be looking for all the evidence to convince us to choose option b) so that we will have relief and feel relaxed. For the primitive brain option a) is painful.

A simple task like brushing our teeth is a good example. Our goal is to have healthy teeth, the task is brushing our teeth before going to bed every night but we are tired. Our primitive brain will tell us how exhausting the day was, that need to sleep right away, and that we can do it first thing in the morning, and so on, to protect us for our survival and exert minimum energy.

This option of giving up can be quite tempting in many cases but is that the result we want in the end?

Brushing your teeth is a simple example but what we need to realize is that when we start to consider our tasks as optional, achieving our goals also becomes optional. If we really want to achieve our goal, the actions that we need to take to get there cannot be optional.

The prefrontal cortex or developed brain is another part of our brain that is helping us to create our future, make plans, take reasonable decisions. We need our developed brain to take control especially when we set goals for ourselves. When we are working on a boring task towards our goal, the prefrontal cortex, if we let it, will analyze the situation, consider our options and tell us if there is a real survival risk. If we do not give a chance to our prefrontal cortex, our primitive brain will take over and simply try to avoid a boring task.

Which tasks are dragging you away from achieving your goals?

Would you try to approach these tasks differently?

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you click below and read my other blog post

“Are Your Goals Driving You to Burn-out or to Growth”.

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it.

Have a great day! 

Ferruh Tumer

GET YOUR POWER BACK AT WORK

Free access to Quick-Start Guide

How to find your driving force?
Why you should let other people be who they are?
How to create awareness?
How to identify the root-causes being stuck?
How to get your energy back at work?
How to start living intentionally?

Join thousands of subscribers and start getting your power back at work today!

Using your stress for your purpose World Health Organisation is defining burnout as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress …

Are you spending your time or investing in it? It was President Eisenhower who said: “I have two kinds of problems: the …

Are you the ugly duckling? Do you sometimes question your abilities?  Do you wonder if you are not the best fit for …

Let yourself be you How does it feel to be you? Do you constantly compare yourself with other people? Comparing themselves with …

Unintentional identity We all know a thing or two about the concept of nature versus nurture. Scientists agree that about half of …

Getting out of a negative cycle Do you find yourself believing that the worst-case scenario will happen? Do you believe that nothing …

You are what you believe How have you created your current self? Do you believe you can create a new version of …

To-do or not-to-do list? Do you spend more time thinking about the things that you need to do than doing the tasks?  …

What is in between being frustrated and not caring? On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different …

Are boring tasks turning you off? How important are your goals? Are there some boring tasks keeping you off from achieving your …