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What is in between being frustrated and not caring?

On a daily basis, we encounter different situations and we interact with different people. These encounters trigger many thoughts in our minds. Those thoughts eventually define our emotional state. We are happy and we are filled with energy when we are in positive emotional states. When we are in a negative emotional state, we look for an easy way out of it because it is not pleasant to feel that way. 

What I am observing with my clients and also based on my own past experiences, we are not so good at handling those moments of negativity. We are either intensifying that negativity by thinking more thoughts that create more negative emotions or we try to ignore the feeling by acting as if we don’t care about the situation. Let’s say you have an argument with your boss and you are frustrated. You either create more frustration by something like thinking about your past arguments with them or you try to avoid that frustration by saying “I do not care”.

However, neither of them is helping you with your purpose. Creating more frustration will cause you to act in a way that you may regret. On the other hand, avoiding your negative feelings will not help you to fulfill your potential. You may think that more are the only options for you but that is not true. There are endless possibilities in between that we are not used to consider. 

Imagine a scale of emotions where frustration on one end and avoiding/ignoring on the other. There are feelings in between those extremes and they are all available to us to feel in difficult situations. You can feel curious, aware, rational, constructive, confident, balanced, or any similar feeling during or after a challenging argument.

When you feel curious, you ask questions, try to understand, and be open-minded. When you feel aware, you can be an objective observer and see what is happening. When you feel constructive, you look for solutions to move forward. This is how you manage your mind when things are not going well.

Managing your mind and living your life intentionally is not about ignoring negative emotions but learning how to manage them for your own purpose.

Look at your previous week at work, did you feel any frustration?

What were the consequences of frustration?

Considering my proposal, can you see any other way you could choose to feel about that situation instead of getting frustrated?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe will benefit from it. 

Have a great day!  

Ferruh Tumer

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