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Do you often find yourself complaining about others?

How many times a day you find yourself complaining?

Do you complain more about your situation or about other people?

Many people believe that the reason for them not achieving their goals is the other people or the circumstances. 

One of the topics that frequently come up with coaching clients who are working for corporations is other people’s behavior at work. Some of them talk about their superiors and complain that their potential is not recognized by them, their hard work not appreciated, or that the superior is not a good leader or incapable of motivating the team. Some of the clients talk about their team members, complaining that they are not committed to the work, not managing their time well, and not delivering the results.

Complaining is indulging. 

When you complain, you believe that you are doing something constructive and you feel satisfied. Your brain uses complaining as a shortcut to give you instant gratification but it is only temporary and does not give you any constructive result. It is only an illusion. 

Complaining is thinking that somebody else or the circumstance has to change for us to feel happy or any way we want to feel. However, we have almost no control over other people or the circumstances. Therefore, when you are complaining and the circumstances or the people are not changing towards your wishes, you will find yourself helpless and find it difficult to get out of the situation. Feeling helpless will eventually affect your motivation and performance. It also consumes a lot of mental energy. 

It is like being on a diet. You want to lose weight but the eating plan is challenging and not fun. A few days in, you choose instant gratification by eating the unchallenging and fun food you did not plan to eat. Perhaps you deviated from your eating plan and ate a donut that made you feel happy. What you do not realize at that moment is that your happiness is temporary and it does not give you the results you really want. 

The opposite of complaining is taking full responsibility for our situation. Instead of pointing out to other people or circumstances to feel temporarily good about ourselves, we choose the freedom of creating the results we want whatever the circumstance and people are around us. We choose feeling confident forever instead of feeling happy for a moment. 

Choose one day and decide to be an observer of yourself for the whole day. See if you are complaining and why. You can also ask yourself the question;

What is the upside of me complaining now?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comment section below and share this post with people you believe they will benefit from.

Have a great day!

Ferruh Tumer

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